I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
