I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
