I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
