Fuck appropriateness.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I got inside last night via doggy door
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize