i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
