One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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