We got so high we made milksteak
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
