Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Randomize
