this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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