I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
