i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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