I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
