One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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