Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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