Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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