"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Apparently you make a good broom.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize