He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize