The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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