2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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