Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
