left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
