I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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