When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
