I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize