your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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