Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
