I heard we made out
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
