Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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