We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
