Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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