that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
