Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
