her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I think I won the penis lottery.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
