She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
