I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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