I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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