Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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