What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
