there was a trapeze. enough said
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
