honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
