His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
