I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I party with great urgency now.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
