About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
