O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
My penis needs a shock collar
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
