and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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