Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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