McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
