anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
