He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
