omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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