I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
