It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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