The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
