i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
