I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i came on her dog
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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