I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
