the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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