so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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