id be glad to
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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