He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize