She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
