i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize