So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
