But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
