You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize