I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
