If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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