I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize