from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
