Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
